Initiative: 1) an introductory act or step; leading action, 2) seeing what needs to be done, and doing it.
Claire,
You showed incredible initiative this weekend! You helped clear the table, put away the clean dishes, fold the laundry, and clean your room. Mommy and I were very impressed that we didn't have to ask you to do these things.
It's moments like these that we as parents take solace in...that all the hard work is paying off. But, to be honest, we have very little to do with how you act. We could be the best parents in the world and still have our kids make poor choices. Consider Adam and Eve: God was their Daddy, and they had a perfect relationship in the Garden of Eden. But even with God's perfect parenting, Adam and Eve chose to sin over what they knew was right.
So I want you and Grace and James to know that no matter what choices you make in life, Mommy and Daddy will always love you. We don't expect you to be perfect, and neither does God.
Much love,
Daddy
5.1.11
4.1.11
Day 3: October 3, 2010
Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in Black: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons!
Kids,
Daddy is not very smart, but I know a lot of smart people. I have been very fortunate to go to school and work with doctors, pilots, lawyers, teachers, military leaders, and business people. Smart people have taught me some very important lessons:
1) Smart people weren't born smart:
Sure, God gives some the ability to conquer calculus, others to rebuild an engine, some to paint a mural, others to write a novel, but smart people love to learn. They have a natural curiosity about the world around them, which encourages them to study and become experts in the things they are already interested in. My hope is that you pick up on this passion to learn.
2) Smart people aren't necessarily the ones who get A's:
Don't chase after grades--seek to understand, and do the necessary work. Smart and lazy is a dangerous combination (believe me, I speak from experience!). And remember, if you don't have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over! I don't care if you get the best grades, but I do care if you don't try your best. I know this will frustrate you (especially as a teenager), but it's one of my "Daddy jobs" to make sure you try your best.
3) Smart people aren't necessarily wise people:
Being smart is knowing what to do in a given situation, being wise is actually doing it. These are two different skills. One involves learning, the other involves action. Knowledge means nothing unless it is acted upon--everyday!
God gave you this world to explore--continue to do so with the fascination of a child's mind. Find your passion, then learn as much as you can about it. Once you do, put that knowledge to action and gain wisdom. While you're learning, don't forget about the source of all knowledge and wisdom and put those things into practice as well! We don't want our ladders leaning up against the wrong wall...
Love,
Daddy
Man in Black: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons!
Kids,
Daddy is not very smart, but I know a lot of smart people. I have been very fortunate to go to school and work with doctors, pilots, lawyers, teachers, military leaders, and business people. Smart people have taught me some very important lessons:
1) Smart people weren't born smart:
Sure, God gives some the ability to conquer calculus, others to rebuild an engine, some to paint a mural, others to write a novel, but smart people love to learn. They have a natural curiosity about the world around them, which encourages them to study and become experts in the things they are already interested in. My hope is that you pick up on this passion to learn.
2) Smart people aren't necessarily the ones who get A's:
Don't chase after grades--seek to understand, and do the necessary work. Smart and lazy is a dangerous combination (believe me, I speak from experience!). And remember, if you don't have time to do it right, you must have time to do it over! I don't care if you get the best grades, but I do care if you don't try your best. I know this will frustrate you (especially as a teenager), but it's one of my "Daddy jobs" to make sure you try your best.
3) Smart people aren't necessarily wise people:
Being smart is knowing what to do in a given situation, being wise is actually doing it. These are two different skills. One involves learning, the other involves action. Knowledge means nothing unless it is acted upon--everyday!
God gave you this world to explore--continue to do so with the fascination of a child's mind. Find your passion, then learn as much as you can about it. Once you do, put that knowledge to action and gain wisdom. While you're learning, don't forget about the source of all knowledge and wisdom and put those things into practice as well! We don't want our ladders leaning up against the wrong wall...
Love,
Daddy
3.1.11
Day 2: 02 Oct 2010
"If you're not making mistakes, you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes."
-John Wooden
You better believe there will be times in your life
When you'll be feeling like a stumbling fool
So take it from me you'll learn more from your accidents
Than anything that you could ever learn at school
-Billy Joel, You're Only Human (Second Wind)
But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.
James 1:25, NLT
Grace,
I am so proud of you! I've watched you play soccer for the past three seasons and you have grown so much from somebody who knew nothing about the game to a true player. I am so grateful for Coach Andy who has shown you and your teammates how to play well, and play honorably. But what I'm most proud of is your perserverance. You keep on trying. You don't let bad plays get you down. You learn from your mistakes. But most of all, you're out there, on the field, living out your faith. And today, God blessed you with your first goal! (Yes, that was me on the sidelines doing my best Andres Cantor impersonation, "Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllll!") I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Thank you for that memory.
That reminds me of my first (and only) soccer goal. Full disclosure: your dad is no natural athelete. I wasn't very fast growing up, so I always played defender. In practice, defenders would pass the ball back to the keeper so he could then pass the ball to an open player. However, during one game, your dad put a little too much on the pass back to the keeper and it went past him, into the net! Scoring a goal for the other team, I was humiliated. I desperately wanted my coach to pull me from the game, but she kept me in. Now, I can't remember whether we won or lost that match, but I do remember playing with much more intensity and vowing never to make that mistake again.
The point is, don't ever stop trying. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Mommy and I don't expect perfection. God doesn't expect perfection. As Billy Joel sang, "We're only human, we're supposed to make mistakes...[because] they're the only the only thing you can truly call your own." Just promise me you'll always try.
Love always,
Daddy
-John Wooden
You better believe there will be times in your life
When you'll be feeling like a stumbling fool
So take it from me you'll learn more from your accidents
Than anything that you could ever learn at school
-Billy Joel, You're Only Human (Second Wind)
But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.
James 1:25, NLT
Grace,
I am so proud of you! I've watched you play soccer for the past three seasons and you have grown so much from somebody who knew nothing about the game to a true player. I am so grateful for Coach Andy who has shown you and your teammates how to play well, and play honorably. But what I'm most proud of is your perserverance. You keep on trying. You don't let bad plays get you down. You learn from your mistakes. But most of all, you're out there, on the field, living out your faith. And today, God blessed you with your first goal! (Yes, that was me on the sidelines doing my best Andres Cantor impersonation, "Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllll!") I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. Thank you for that memory.
That reminds me of my first (and only) soccer goal. Full disclosure: your dad is no natural athelete. I wasn't very fast growing up, so I always played defender. In practice, defenders would pass the ball back to the keeper so he could then pass the ball to an open player. However, during one game, your dad put a little too much on the pass back to the keeper and it went past him, into the net! Scoring a goal for the other team, I was humiliated. I desperately wanted my coach to pull me from the game, but she kept me in. Now, I can't remember whether we won or lost that match, but I do remember playing with much more intensity and vowing never to make that mistake again.
The point is, don't ever stop trying. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Mommy and I don't expect perfection. God doesn't expect perfection. As Billy Joel sang, "We're only human, we're supposed to make mistakes...[because] they're the only the only thing you can truly call your own." Just promise me you'll always try.
Love always,
Daddy
2.1.11
Day 1: 01 October
Curly: Do you know what the secret to life is? (holds up finger...) This!
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean [anything].
-City Slickers
"...and my soul wells up with Hallelujahs."
- Chris Rice, Hallelujahs
Claire,
This week you told me about the most important decision you will ever make in your life. I don't know when you made this decision, but you told me just after our "butterfly kisses" and bedtime prayers. I will never forget that moment. At seven years old, you've found the One Thing; a Daddy couldn't be prouder. But now begins the preparation--preparation for the adventure of the life you have chosen. Your choice will not make your life easy, but it will make it worth living. You have someone to live for, even someone to die for (though I pray that doesn't happen for a long, long time!).
Let me tell you that Daddy didn't make this choice until I was 22. Like you, I didn't fully comprehend what it meant at the time, and I'm still learning each day. It certainly hasn't made my life any easier, but it has made my life richer. It has helped me appreciate life, even when it doesn't seem fair (and you have an enhanced bent for injustice--"It's not fair!" is your favorite line...maybe that's part of being the middle child?). After making this decision, I've had many ups (e.g., I married Mommy, I watched the birth of you, your brother, and sister, we've had many great vacations, and several family prayer times, etc.), and a few downs as well (e.g., a car accident, loss of a career, three scary hospital stays, managing a chronic health condition, etc.). But through it all, it has been a wonderful ride.
So, Claire, let me join with the angels and sing Hallelujah. Words can't express my joy.
Love,
Daddy
p.s. Grace--I know math can be tough. The only thing I ask is that you slow down, and follow the directions. This goes beyond math--it is a life lesson that I'm still learning. I love you!
Mitch: Your finger?
Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don't mean [anything].
-City Slickers
"...and my soul wells up with Hallelujahs."
- Chris Rice, Hallelujahs
Claire,
This week you told me about the most important decision you will ever make in your life. I don't know when you made this decision, but you told me just after our "butterfly kisses" and bedtime prayers. I will never forget that moment. At seven years old, you've found the One Thing; a Daddy couldn't be prouder. But now begins the preparation--preparation for the adventure of the life you have chosen. Your choice will not make your life easy, but it will make it worth living. You have someone to live for, even someone to die for (though I pray that doesn't happen for a long, long time!).
Let me tell you that Daddy didn't make this choice until I was 22. Like you, I didn't fully comprehend what it meant at the time, and I'm still learning each day. It certainly hasn't made my life any easier, but it has made my life richer. It has helped me appreciate life, even when it doesn't seem fair (and you have an enhanced bent for injustice--"It's not fair!" is your favorite line...maybe that's part of being the middle child?). After making this decision, I've had many ups (e.g., I married Mommy, I watched the birth of you, your brother, and sister, we've had many great vacations, and several family prayer times, etc.), and a few downs as well (e.g., a car accident, loss of a career, three scary hospital stays, managing a chronic health condition, etc.). But through it all, it has been a wonderful ride.
So, Claire, let me join with the angels and sing Hallelujah. Words can't express my joy.
Love,
Daddy
p.s. Grace--I know math can be tough. The only thing I ask is that you slow down, and follow the directions. This goes beyond math--it is a life lesson that I'm still learning. I love you!
1.1.11
Day 0: 30 September
"I'm 37, I'm not old..."
-Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
-Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump
I love new beginnings.
Tomorrow, I start a new job. I'm very excited about the opportunities that lie ahead; however, I don't intend to blather on about the mundane happenings in a cubicle. For those of you who work with the Federal Government, you know the excitement of a new fiscal year set against the ofttimes depressing backdrop of the cube farm. My life is much more exciting than org charts, PowerPoint presentations, POM cycles, and FY dollars.
Besides, my kids couldn't care less what I do--unless I were a fireman, or an astronaut, or a dump truck driver. I sometimes feel like Mitch in City Slickers trying to explain that he 'sells air' to a bewildered and bored audience of elementary-aged school kids. So, what I'm attempting to capture are those memories--snippets of moments in time, if you will-- that define who I am. My job does not define me.
Why am I doing this? Do I have some terminal disease to prompt this effort? Am I old? Near death? Is this akin to Randy Pausch's Last Lecture? No. But I do subscribe to the bus theory (i.e., you never know when you may be hit by one...). In short, I'm attempting to pass along a true picture of myself to my kids. I'm just an ordinary guy in his 30s trying to bridge the generational chasm that exists between me and my children. I'm attempting the high-wire act of sharing both the good and bad aspects of my past, a scary prospect for most parents. However, I believe honesty builds trust, which strengthens relationships and I pray this will keep the lines of communication open when they enter their teen years (*shudder...).
Each night, my children ask for "snuggle time" which consists of telling them tales of my past (how I acted as a child, how their mom and I met, what I dressed up for Halloween, how I got in trouble, etc.). Unfortunately, I don't get to do this as often as I'd like because 1) my work schedule sometimes interferes, and 2) I can't think of stories off the top of my head (more often the latter than the former). So, if I deliberately think about my past, perhaps I can intentionally weave it into my kids' present and give them a complete picture of who their dad is. Additionally, my son (who is much like me) tends to fall asleep within mere minutes of his head hitting the pillow, so he doesn't get to hear them (consciously, at least).
So, who am I? I'm really nobody to the world, but the world to my kids. I'm a simple guy who loves God, loves his wife, loves his kids, and loves his friends. I'm no hero, athlete, musician, actor, artist, comedian, author, nor composer; however, I do love reading, writing, playing (and listening to) music, singing, watching movies (TV, theater, etc.), and laughing. I love entertainment that speaks to life, its ups and downs, and the beauty of how it unfolds in ways we cannot humanly imagine.
I could go on about who I am, whom I love, what I believe, who and what helped shape what I believe, and how I view the world. But I've got 364 more days to do that (God willing!). That is my challenge. A year of short stories of the people, movies, music, books, experiences, and relationships that have shaped who I am. To my kids...this is for you.
Love,
Daddy
p.s. Today is Mr. Alan's birthday. Please pray that his cancer goes away. It is also Ms. Shelbie's birthday. Please pray that God blesses her this year. Amen.
-Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
-Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump
I love new beginnings.
Tomorrow, I start a new job. I'm very excited about the opportunities that lie ahead; however, I don't intend to blather on about the mundane happenings in a cubicle. For those of you who work with the Federal Government, you know the excitement of a new fiscal year set against the ofttimes depressing backdrop of the cube farm. My life is much more exciting than org charts, PowerPoint presentations, POM cycles, and FY dollars.
Besides, my kids couldn't care less what I do--unless I were a fireman, or an astronaut, or a dump truck driver. I sometimes feel like Mitch in City Slickers trying to explain that he 'sells air' to a bewildered and bored audience of elementary-aged school kids. So, what I'm attempting to capture are those memories--snippets of moments in time, if you will-- that define who I am. My job does not define me.
Why am I doing this? Do I have some terminal disease to prompt this effort? Am I old? Near death? Is this akin to Randy Pausch's Last Lecture? No. But I do subscribe to the bus theory (i.e., you never know when you may be hit by one...). In short, I'm attempting to pass along a true picture of myself to my kids. I'm just an ordinary guy in his 30s trying to bridge the generational chasm that exists between me and my children. I'm attempting the high-wire act of sharing both the good and bad aspects of my past, a scary prospect for most parents. However, I believe honesty builds trust, which strengthens relationships and I pray this will keep the lines of communication open when they enter their teen years (*shudder...).
Each night, my children ask for "snuggle time" which consists of telling them tales of my past (how I acted as a child, how their mom and I met, what I dressed up for Halloween, how I got in trouble, etc.). Unfortunately, I don't get to do this as often as I'd like because 1) my work schedule sometimes interferes, and 2) I can't think of stories off the top of my head (more often the latter than the former). So, if I deliberately think about my past, perhaps I can intentionally weave it into my kids' present and give them a complete picture of who their dad is. Additionally, my son (who is much like me) tends to fall asleep within mere minutes of his head hitting the pillow, so he doesn't get to hear them (consciously, at least).
So, who am I? I'm really nobody to the world, but the world to my kids. I'm a simple guy who loves God, loves his wife, loves his kids, and loves his friends. I'm no hero, athlete, musician, actor, artist, comedian, author, nor composer; however, I do love reading, writing, playing (and listening to) music, singing, watching movies (TV, theater, etc.), and laughing. I love entertainment that speaks to life, its ups and downs, and the beauty of how it unfolds in ways we cannot humanly imagine.
I could go on about who I am, whom I love, what I believe, who and what helped shape what I believe, and how I view the world. But I've got 364 more days to do that (God willing!). That is my challenge. A year of short stories of the people, movies, music, books, experiences, and relationships that have shaped who I am. To my kids...this is for you.
Love,
Daddy
p.s. Today is Mr. Alan's birthday. Please pray that his cancer goes away. It is also Ms. Shelbie's birthday. Please pray that God blesses her this year. Amen.
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