"I'm 37, I'm not old..."
-Dennis, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."
-Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump
I love new beginnings.
Tomorrow, I start a new job. I'm very excited about the opportunities that lie ahead; however, I don't intend to blather on about the mundane happenings in a cubicle. For those of you who work with the Federal Government, you know the excitement of a new fiscal year set against the ofttimes depressing backdrop of the cube farm. My life is much more exciting than org charts, PowerPoint presentations, POM cycles, and FY dollars.
Besides, my kids couldn't care less what I do--unless I were a fireman, or an astronaut, or a dump truck driver. I sometimes feel like Mitch in City Slickers trying to explain that he 'sells air' to a bewildered and bored audience of elementary-aged school kids. So, what I'm attempting to capture are those memories--snippets of moments in time, if you will-- that define who I am. My job does not define me.
Why am I doing this? Do I have some terminal disease to prompt this effort? Am I old? Near death? Is this akin to Randy Pausch's Last Lecture? No. But I do subscribe to the bus theory (i.e., you never know when you may be hit by one...). In short, I'm attempting to pass along a true picture of myself to my kids. I'm just an ordinary guy in his 30s trying to bridge the generational chasm that exists between me and my children. I'm attempting the high-wire act of sharing both the good and bad aspects of my past, a scary prospect for most parents. However, I believe honesty builds trust, which strengthens relationships and I pray this will keep the lines of communication open when they enter their teen years (*shudder...).
Each night, my children ask for "snuggle time" which consists of telling them tales of my past (how I acted as a child, how their mom and I met, what I dressed up for Halloween, how I got in trouble, etc.). Unfortunately, I don't get to do this as often as I'd like because 1) my work schedule sometimes interferes, and 2) I can't think of stories off the top of my head (more often the latter than the former). So, if I deliberately think about my past, perhaps I can intentionally weave it into my kids' present and give them a complete picture of who their dad is. Additionally, my son (who is much like me) tends to fall asleep within mere minutes of his head hitting the pillow, so he doesn't get to hear them (consciously, at least).
So, who am I? I'm really nobody to the world, but the world to my kids. I'm a simple guy who loves God, loves his wife, loves his kids, and loves his friends. I'm no hero, athlete, musician, actor, artist, comedian, author, nor composer; however, I do love reading, writing, playing (and listening to) music, singing, watching movies (TV, theater, etc.), and laughing. I love entertainment that speaks to life, its ups and downs, and the beauty of how it unfolds in ways we cannot humanly imagine.
I could go on about who I am, whom I love, what I believe, who and what helped shape what I believe, and how I view the world. But I've got 364 more days to do that (God willing!). That is my challenge. A year of short stories of the people, movies, music, books, experiences, and relationships that have shaped who I am. To my kids...this is for you.
Love,
Daddy
p.s. Today is Mr. Alan's birthday. Please pray that his cancer goes away. It is also Ms. Shelbie's birthday. Please pray that God blesses her this year. Amen.
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